i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize