Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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