they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Even my vagina gasped.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
