Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
