last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
