another moral hangover. fuck.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
