dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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