would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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