At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
40s are totally the cure
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Randomize
