So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
