remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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