And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
