The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize