id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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