sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
