First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize