she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
