Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
