Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
