I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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