I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
