Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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