I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
