I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
