So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
