So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
