So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
