Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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