someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
