At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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