she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
