thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
