Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods

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(212): Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods http://tfl.nu/urut

Replies (8) Good night (1414) Bad night (559)
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(802): View more from Vermont

last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

(917): View more from New York City

dollar well spent

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(802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi

Replies (15) Good night (3320) Bad night (758)
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(804): View more from Virginia

does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?

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(804): does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app? http://tfl.nu/1l1k

Replies (41) Good night (905) Bad night (3467)
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(416): View more from Ontario

i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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(416): i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia http://tfl.nu/2gcx

Replies (48) Good night (676) Bad night (5974)
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(573): View more from Missouri

how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?

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(573): how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain? http://tfl.nu/ptj1

Replies (7) Good night (3311) Bad night (665)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.

(417): View more from Missouri

I'm going for alcohol poisoning.

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(816): I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight. (417): I'm going for alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/l0is

Replies (21) Good night (6138) Bad night (1038)
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(586): View more from Michigan

i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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(586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0

Replies (9) Good night (5179) Bad night (758)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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(203): I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole. http://tfl.nu/9iug

Replies (17) Good night (1405) Bad night (3304)
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(817): View more from Texas

He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

(1-817): View more from Texas

Actually, she's fat now, so...

(817): View more from Texas

Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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(817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993

Replies (27) Good night (2021) Bad night (5153)
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(281): View more from Texas

Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am

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(281): Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am http://tfl.nu/24br

Replies (3) Good night (2073) Bad night (1144)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

yeah you don't forget that shit easily

(651): View more from Minnesota

We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

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(651): You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"? (1-651): yeah you don't forget that shit easily (651): We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email. http://tfl.nu/xfpa

Replies (11) Good night (4787) Bad night (756)
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(480): View more from Arizona

You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.

(602): View more from Arizona

Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.

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(480): You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home. (602): Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul. http://tfl.nu/qvbw

Replies (10) Good night (2772) Bad night (766)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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(828): he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me? http://tfl.nu/mhv8

Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (1040)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Dude that's a hat trick!

(616): View more from Michigan

I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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(616): Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs. (1-616): Dude that's a hat trick! (616): I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out. http://tfl.nu/g50u

Replies (8) Good night (1658) Bad night (362)
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(206): View more from Washington

If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying

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(206): If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying http://tfl.nu/3uun

Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (452)

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