Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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