Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Five things that make you perfect. Go.

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?

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(314): View more from Missouri

It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot

(502): View more from Kentucky

Why?

(314): View more from Missouri

Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(626): View more from California

Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless

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(409): View more from Texas

The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.

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(251): View more from Alabama

well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras

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(619): View more from California

Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica

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