i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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