Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

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  (281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery http://tfl.nu/mwr2
  Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.

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  (703): You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am. http://tfl.nu/rcus
  Replies (11) Good night (3885) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

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  (609): The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making http://tfl.nu/k24g
  Replies (4) Good night (4603) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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  (720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb
  Replies (20) Good night (8211) Bad night (2111)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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  (812): I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is. http://tfl.nu/2rnr
  Replies (11) Good night (1522) Bad night (4757)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"

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  (319): We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30" http://tfl.nu/oadk
  Replies (9) Good night (5953) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.

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  (816): Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes. http://tfl.nu/7aqq
  Replies (2) Good night (3366) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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  (513): Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night. http://tfl.nu/vga8
  Replies (8) Good night (2338) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?

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  (330): if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck? http://tfl.nu/xqma
  Replies (8) Good night (836) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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  (808): I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough? http://tfl.nu/nifs
  Replies (21) Good night (1446) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix

  (760): View more from California

  THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE

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  (760): We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix (760): THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE http://tfl.nu/hk7r
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.

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  (317): Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things. http://tfl.nu/c5bt
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.

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  (651): possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer. (651): also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some. http://tfl.nu/7hdm
  Replies (6) Good night (401) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me

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  (920): I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me http://tfl.nu/4kao
  Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.

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  (360): Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20. http://tfl.nu/482q
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (264)

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