Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

I believe so, yes.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?

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(479): I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing? (1-479): I believe so, yes. (479): Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you? http://tfl.nu/chrd

Replies (46) Good night (2501) Bad night (949)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.

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(952): I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband. http://tfl.nu/celm

Replies (17) Good night (2024) Bad night (3848)
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(813): View more from Florida

They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.

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(813): They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century. http://tfl.nu/yuyb

Replies (14) Good night (4129) Bad night (809)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

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(609): The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making http://tfl.nu/k24g

Replies (4) Good night (4656) Bad night (949)
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(334): View more from Alabama

she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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(334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr

Replies (39) Good night (1556) Bad night (5725)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.

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(517): Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls. http://tfl.nu/kswf

Replies (3) Good night (2152) Bad night (1670)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?

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(970): Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face? http://tfl.nu/5us6

Replies (3) Good night (1629) Bad night (712)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.

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(952): So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious (781): Oh my god you need to get off of facebook. http://tfl.nu/ws52

Replies (10) Good night (3337) Bad night (1265)
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(303): View more from Colorado

he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper

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(303): he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper http://tfl.nu/eza0

Replies (13) Good night (671) Bad night (2177)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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(913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv

Replies (8) Good night (1670) Bad night (643)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.

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(901): Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/fm4c

Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (588)
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(801): View more from Utah

Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?

(309): View more from Illinois

No idea. And yes be here at 4

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(801): Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding? (309): No idea. And yes be here at 4 http://tfl.nu/o72l

Replies (10) Good night (2259) Bad night (712)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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(828): he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me? http://tfl.nu/mhv8

Replies (4) Good night (524) Bad night (1082)
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(914): View more from New York

And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

(845): View more from New York

I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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(914): And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken. (845): I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa? http://tfl.nu/09c4

Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (432)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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(828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76

Replies (9) Good night (1275) Bad night (424)

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