if you like me you must not know who I am
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
