u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?