would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica