He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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