the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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