He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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