youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
