Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
