Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize