Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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