another moral hangover. fuck.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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