I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
