you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it's great music for shaving your balls
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
