Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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