im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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