I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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