.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When did angry sex become our thing?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
