Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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