I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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