Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
