The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize