we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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