so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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