I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
