Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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